Monday, October 10, 2005

The time and faith relationship

Is time the most important thing in our lives?

This is a question i asked myself and i was quite startled with my thought process. I have taken to believe a few things after observing how our community reacts to various situations. This is one example. I went to the temple early monday morning to see the face of Lord Ganesha in the light of the rising sun. (been doing a few of these crazy things).

It was the day of the eclipse, and everyone was aware it was going to commence around 5.10 pm and go on till about 6pm. It was said to be the most auspitious time, as it fell on a no moon day and had a few more complicated features with respect to our age old panchangam. At the temple, there was a massive gathering, at 6.30am, and a whole lot of people had come by to perform their ritual toward ancestral worship. They also said that certain constellations would be affected because of this, mine being one of them. Hence the trip to the temple.

My mind just dwelled on this for a while. The eclipse was fixed, it was scheduled and everyone's life revolved around it. The over all population of chennai city went down on the road during the time of the eclipse. If i have to go the traditional thinking way, time appears to be the soul most important thing in our lives.

Most importantly the present. We seem to live in every other sphere of time except NOW. My thoughts are about what happened in the past and my attempts to relive them if they were good. Or my thoughts are completely about what has to be done in the future. But i miss out the vital moment of NOW.

Now let me look at it from another perspective. There are lots of things i used to consider important which are not that way anymore. There was a time when my job was the place where all my passions flowed out but now, i think otherwise. Its not mine to worry so much. Then my passions rolled out on my life and the people around me, but they scarcely even began to understand me. It didnt make that difference when i wanted to burst out to tell them the most amazing thing i had discovered and as i yelled with joy i just saw it boomerang back to me!

It took me too less time to realise i live in a lone world of my own and everything around me just exists in a lone world of its own. It made me wonder, this is life, when all goes well or does not, and we have all these Godly elements adding fuel to the fire depending on our so called past karmas. But if i didnt let them have their due, and didnt let the situation affect me and let it pass like all events do, i noticed a strange peace within myself which seemed to reduce even the events of my life to almost insignificance. This left just one thing in my life to worry about, the unanswered passion within me that causes the unrest in my mind and heart.

There had to be a solution to the passions welling up inside me, someplace to let it lose. I knew it was beyond anyone to understand and it was too precious to waste on anyone beyond myself and a few people I really adoured. But largely given my nature of being by myself led me to turned to Lord Shiva, concentrating on His form every time i felt excited about something. It has since been an amazing experience.

Simple peace, where time comes to a halt, where i simply sit back in the bliss of imagining the Lord dance in a moon lit night with the Ganas by the fire as he raises his graceful body in the pose of Tandava Nataraja. I just stop to keep seeing that picture of him in my mind constantly hoping that moment will never end. I came to realize i was completely in the Present. Every moment, an experience within itself, powerful, silent and ever constant.

My mind is at rest. There is nothing called time. I am and i will always be. Ever in the present.


Blogger Aatma said...

There are so many things that i have in similar to what you say - but the final paragraph - I am happy that you found solace and peace in Lord Shiva - I am still searching for that solace and peace. The rest i agree with you - We all are connected to the people around us but still live in a lone world

1:03 PM  
Blogger Venky Krishnamoorthy said...

An honest post ... it was interesting

8:50 PM  
Blogger kitchenette soul said...

Dear kavita,
That was a wonderful post. Yes the times when its just you and the Divine is the most precious of moments. It opens up a new You within. The Shiva within. Yes of course we live in our own lone worlds but never Lonely,like flowers in a garland connected yet separate and that which connects us is the One Divine

2:08 AM  
Blogger Swahilya said...

In the Silence of the Mind, the Divine Manifests in its fullest Glory.

2:14 AM  

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