Monday, January 23, 2006

A circle of Constants...

This is not about temples, but about the Self. I went back to Google search, to refresh my decaying knowledge in Math and went through circles again. There was something about it, not about solving the toughest problems, not about the complexity it can take you into but that one simple thing that we call a Constant, often taken for granted but never explained. This time i chose to make a connect.

There is a constant in everything, including our lives, the concept of circles just being another such example of how varied their behavior is and yet there is a Constant that seems to give character to them.

Its very similar with us. The thirst for truth brings a variety of opportunities into our lives at various stages which need not be socially acceptable. There are many moments when people comes face to face with themselves wondering whether they should make that move towards the truth or continue in their routines. Its a choice you make based on the trust you have in yourself to look for this Truth or Constant, and the courage you have to disconnect with your familiar world.

Yes, the familiar world that you define as home, and all the people and components that go into its making. You might have made it yourself during the hunt for your Constant, that which largely is a subconcious search surfacing on and off while it remotely connects with events in your life. Those are your moments of absolute excitement, excitement you cannot explain but just emote. There is a Constant within you, not necessarily defined with a formula, or given a form(religion tries to do that for you). I grew to realize this in a warped sort of way.

My first definition of a Constant as i saw it was with family, but it brought in its own share of problems/ instability and didnt seem to follow the definition i had laid out for it either in reality or conceptually or in subtle reality. I realized somewhere that family was not where the Constant was, as it was more of an external element and not entirely my own. I moved my Constant away from people and home, realizing pretty fast that they were incapable of such position purely on the grounds of expectation and rule sets laid down by role play- family, marriage, etc.

Somewhere down the line it dawned on me that my work, which i possible considered as my Constant for a while, was not the right place either. I ended up getting into more of people management since actual performace was being taken as a given. I also realized that my Constant doesn't depend on whimsical people around me for my Constant is way too important to be tossed around.

So here I am, redefining my Constant to myself, its something that is purely mine, and does not call for outside interference, that is anyone beyond me. My Constant is that which stays with me and i derive my energy from it to define myself, to live, to understand, to perform, to survive and make myself concious of it every moment in the day. My Constant is not for me to share, but for me to help anyone look for their own.

My Constant is formless, and i have chosen to define as Shiva, nothing more, nothing less. My Constant is visible in the Beauty of Lord Shiva, its defined in his dance, its felt in his fury, its awakened in his third eye.

8 Comments:

Blogger manan said...

beautifully written :)

1:43 AM  
Blogger Radhika said...

Kavitha,
I loved these thoughts when I read it first in your blog and I love the fact that its found its way here too..
Still searching for that moment when I grab hold of that "Constant" and stay there for all eternity...

7:05 AM  
Blogger amused said...

"My Constant is not for me to share, but for me to help anyone look for their own."

Sharing and helping people look within are related, aren't they? Maybe I didn't catch what you were trying to say.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Aksharoham said...

Surprising, this constant is the subject of my latest post at my blog - Aksharoham (swahilya.blogspot.com)

11:00 AM  
Blogger Parvati said...

Simply splendid!

Wish you had also spoken about the connections that your Constant enables you to have with the rest of us all, who maybe or may not be aware of our own Constants!
Maybe in your next post? Pretty please...

12:21 AM  
Blogger kavitha said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:35 AM  
Blogger kavitha said...

Let me try and explain this in one way.

when i looked at the nataraja earlier i wanted it, the beauty of it made me want to possess it. i wanted it for myself. it was precious, it brought in jealousy and greed to possess it.

today the same sculpture makes me smile. i appreciate and enjoy the beauty of Lord Shiva, as he dances, i dont want to own the sculpture anymore, i just want to enjoy the moment of subtle reality it has captured and displays for eternity. That moment alone is for me to experience and no one can steal that away from me.

12:41 AM  
Blogger LIT said...

Indeed, very beautiful and thoughtful.

1:02 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home